McManuale alternativo dei lavoratori inglesi
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http://www.geocities.com/mwrposse3/recipes.htm
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ALTERNATIVE CREW HANDBOOK!
The McWorkers Resistance Cook Book
McDonalds food is shit and really boring. Here’s a couple of recipes you may want to try:
Sweet and sour stir fry (vegan)
A delicious simple to prepare sauce with an Oriental flavour.
You will need:
1 pancake mixing bowl, or if you don’t have one a large metal pot.
One grill
One grill spatula
An egg spatula from breakfast equipment
A Tomato slicer
Ingredients:
A few drops of shortening
1 and a half tomatoes
2 handfuls of diced fresh onions
10 sweet and sour sauce portions
6 sachets of pepper
3 sachets of salt
Method:
Place the shortening in the metal container and leave on the grill until it heats/ cools to a steady
temperature. Slice the tomatoes and then dice/ puree with the grill spatula. Add the fresh onions
to the shortening and sauté (shallow fry), keep the onions moving with the egg spatula and when
they are sautéed (slightly brown) add the diced tomatoes and continue to fry lightly while
mixing well with the egg spatula. After a few minutes add the sweet and sour sauce and
continue to heat while mixing well, add the salt and pepper and heat for five minutes stirring
continuously.
Serving suggestion:
Serve with chopped product of your choice, i.e. vedgie patties, chicken patties (not vegan!) and
salad made from tomato and lettuce.
Pizza Italiano (vegetarian)
Add a Mediterranean flavour to your cuisine with this delicious Italian style pizza.
You will need:
One bun toaster
One fillet steamer
One small pot
A grill spatula
Ingredients:
One bun (ideally one of those dodgy “Italian style’ buns they do from time to time, but failing
that a reg bun will do)
Ketchup
2 slices of cheese
1 tomato
A sprinkle of fresh onions
2 sachet’s pepper
method:
Dice the cheese into the smallest pieces possible with the grill spatula and do the same with the
tomato after you have sliced it. Next, squirt a little ketchup into a small pot, add the diced
tomatoes and mix well with the ketchup while pureeing the tomato. Add a sachet of pepper and
mix it into the tomato sauce. Alter the compression on the bun toaster (or just use a small stack
of trays) so that it will slightly flatten the bun when you toast it. Toast the bun for about 20
seconds. Spread some of the tomato sauce on the toasted bun, sprinkle on half the cheese, then
add the onion before sprinkling on the remainder of the cheese. Sprinkle the second sachet of
pepper across the top and place on the fillet steamer for 30 seconds. Hey presto, one mini pizza.
You can make as many as you want, try experimenting with different toppings.
Got some tomato sauce left over? why not make these delicious bruschetta!
Bruschetta (vegan)
Ingredients:
Fresh onions
shortening,
4 sachets of pepper
1 sachet of salt
tomato sauce left over from pizzas
2 regular bun heels
method:
fry the onions as if for “sweet & sour stir fry’, then add the tomato sauce. Heat over grill while
stirring continuously, add the salt and pepper. Toast the bun heels for 45 seconds. Then spread
the tomato and onion sauce on the toasted bread.
Coming soon: curried dishes with the spicy exotic taste of the sub-continent.
cdonalds Workers Resistance
ALTERNATIVE CREW HANDBOOK!
Get paid your full wages!
McDonalds already pay us the least they possibly can, but if they can get away with it, they’ll
pay us even less. Here are a few thoughts on how to try and make sure you receive the pitiful
wage you’re legally entitled to.
Firstly, and most importantly, never assume that just because you have clocked in for a shift this
means you will be paid for all the hours you work. Theft of wages is rife, we keep hearing about
this, it really can’t be emphasised enough. Managers alter clock card entries to save on labour
costs, i.e. they might clock you out a couple of hours before you actually stopped working. This
practice has been exposed at our store twice and we have heard of it occurring on numerous
other occasions. We have NEVER heard of a manager being dismissed for this offence. Wide
spread fraudulent theft of employees wages in order to save the company money is not a cause
for dismissal, taking a drink without permission potentially is. The managers do it because they
are under so much pressure from their bosses to keep costs down, but there can be few clearer
indications of the depravity of the system and the degeneracy that it breeds that servile, two
faced, pathetic managers are prepared to steal from minimum wage workers, not even for
themselves, but for a $35 Billion a year corporation.
DON’T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT! Record the hours you have worked and check you
get paid properly. If needs be make the shift running manager sign a piece of paper every shift
indicating the hours you have worked and the length of your break. NEVER TRUST THE
BASTARDS TO PAY YOU WHAT YOU’RE DUE!
Also, managers sometimes say a day is double time when it isn’t really in order to get you to
work. If you’re in any doubt then it’s worth checking with the human resources department or
getting signed confirmation from the shift running manager.
If you attend a staff meeting (crew/ training squad meeting, safety circle, rap session, etc.) then
you are entitled to payment at your full hourly rate for the duration of the meeting. So clock in!
Managers will probably tell you not to clock in and will say that they’ll sort your money out
later, complying with this means you will almost certainly not get paid, either because of
deliberate fraud or just because of incompetence. The UK crew handbook states “it is your
responsibility to clock in and out when you start and finish work”. For once do as it says.
If you are doing a short shift and are only entitled to a 15 minute break then you don’t have to
clock out for your break (EU).
If one day you have to go to work at another store then you are entitled to payment for time
spent travelling between your store and the other store and any costs incurred.
Do not accept any deductions from your wages (for lateness, breakages, cash shortages, new
uniform, etc.) as this practice is illegal.
Getting sick pay/ maternity pay if you work for McDonalds is not easy and the regulations vary
from country to country, but do not assume it’s impossible. Your entitlement will, of course,
depend on statutory provisions in the country where you work.
During your period of employment you will accrue HOLIDAY PAY. A lot of this gets kept by
McDonalds. If you’re thinking of quitting suddenly and not working your two weeks notice
then make sure you get any holiday pay you’re due put through first. Insist on collecting your
holiday pay every year (you’re not supposed to get the money in lieu of holidays not taken).
You’re legally entitled to this money but McDonalds are very adept at stealing it.
If you’re offered a bonus, insist the manager puts it through before you do the extra work, get
written confirmation and check your wage slip to make sure you have indeed received it.
You should also try and make sure that you’re not paying too much tax. Especially if you
started the job part way through the current financial year, it’s possible you will be on the wrong
tax code. For example, in the UK, you are allowed to earn some £4000 without paying any tax
(you are still liable for National Insurance contributions). If you think you have been over taxed
then take a recent wage slip to a tax office and hopefully they will give you a cheque (it takes a
few weeks), and the government will have a bit less cash to spend on killing Iraqis.
Finally, don’t forget to take advantage of McDonalds great generosity and concern for its
employees. In the event of a death in your immediate family, you may be entitled to receive
paid leave so you can nip along to the funeral.
The outrageously titled Everything you ever wanted to know about stealing from McD's!
“Stealing”
(in inverted commas because you can’t steal what already belongs to you)
McDonalds steals the wealth we produce in the form of profits every shift we work, so it’s
totally ethical for us to try and take the profit back through whatever means we can.
Unfortunately, legal systems across the world exist to preserve the capitalist system. As Noam
Chomsky put it “the country was founded on the principle that the primary role of government is
to protect property from the majority, and so it remains”. Therefor, this article is included
purely for entertainment purposes....
The most obvious way to take back what belongs to us is through taking money from the tills.
McDonalds knows that most crew members despise the company and it has taken precautions to
try and reduce the amount of money “stolen’. These include uniforms without pockets, the
T-reds obsession from a couple of years back (that lasted a few weeks), cameras and fairly
rigorously controlled cash handling procedures. Nevertheless, it’s fairly easy to more than
double your wage.
You could try taking a stack of notes in a one off spectacular, but this is more of a parting shot
than a steady income. As long as you don’t take too much, and don’t make it too obvious, then
such actions tend not to result in prosecution (best to split on your break and never come back,
oh and make sure that what you take is considerably more than the holiday pay you’re due or it’s
pretty pointless).
You could just take a bit now and again and then play innocent when your till is down.
However, if your till is down more than £20/ $30 then it should be immediately obvious to all
but the stupidest managers that you (or someone else with access to your till) has been stealing.
If you keep “losing’ smaller amounts of money then sooner or later you will wither be sacked or
banished to kitchen (years ago one of our gang was banned from ever using tills when
management became convinced he was stealing but couldn’t prove it).
When managers get rushed they may insist you take over someone else’s till without it being
cashed up, or order you to share a till with someone else. Christmas has come early! As long as
you don’t get caught on camera with a bag of loot, then they have no way of determining which
of you is an honest serf and which of you is an evil criminal genius. If it’s a lot of money then
they will pursue the matter further but if it’s not that much then the manager will just be left red
faced in the office while you and the other crew member are splitting the money in the local
boozer.
However, it is normally a much better idea to make sure that when your till is cashed up
everything tallies... and you’ve got a few notes tucked in your sock. There are a number of ways
this can be achieved.
The old way was to enter the order into your till, receive the money then delete most of the order
before ringing it through. The difference between the correct cost of the order paid by the
customer and the cost of the one item you finally entered, would then be yours to take. This is
why McDonalds started going on about T-reds. T-reds appear when you delete an item without
having it cleared by a manager, some till systems block this action, others show it up on your till
report and this can lead to cash retraining slips. This hasn’t totally stopped this method being
used- at busy times managers will hand over till keys/ swipe cards so that crew can do their own
deletions, not to mention refunds... Christmas has come early! I don’t exactly understand this
one never having worked at a drive thru restaurant, but we’ve heard of people working together
where the person taking orders has till keys (or a swipe card, whatever). The order taker enters
the correct order and collects the money, then once the person gathering the order has collected
it the order taker deletes the order. Apparently, you can make £15 on one big order this way.
However, the attention paid to T-reds has led to a search for improved tactics and there are a
number of possibilities. Perhaps the most reliable technique is to enter a single sandwich on the
till when a customer purchases a meal. If the customer eats there fairly regularly (and is not a
tourist or an OAP) then it is exceedingly unlikely they will question why you’re charging them
more than appears on the till and even if they do you can just correct your “mistake’ (one of the
delights of this scam is that it can so easily be passed off as a mistake, whoever takes an interest
in what you’re doing). Most customers know off by heart how much a meal costs, as long as
they’re paying the right price they don’t care what the till says. You then simply repeat this
action, adding up the discrepancy between the total amount entered in the till and the total
amount in the till drawer until it approximates a round number (i.e. £10 or $20, it doesn’t need
to be exact), and then you take the difference. Disco.
Alternatively, if some prices where you work are exact (i.e. $5) or just off it (i.e. £2.99) then just
keep a few pennies, cents, centimes (if prices are exact you don’t even need to do this) and don’t
ring the orders through the till at all if someone gives you exact money. If someone gives you
£3.00 for a £2.99 meal, then just give them one of the pennies you have by your till and keep the
£3.00. You don’t want piles of money around your till and coins are difficult to smuggle from
the scene, so take the next order properly and stick the coins in the till (again remove a note or
two later on). If you do end up with coins lying about it’s worth remembering that you can fit
seven pound coins in an empty creamer portion!
Once you have a positive balance in your till you enter stage two- smuggle your ill gotten gains
to safety. The classic is simply to slip notes into your sock when you pause to tie your laces, but
there are various alternatives. Some people devise ingenious cash stashes, for example, in the
lining of your tie. Whatever you do, at the first opportunity go to the crew room and get the
money into your wallet, avoid taking money with you when you get your till cashed up. The
safest way to get rid of money is to get a mate to come in late on your shift and impersonate a
customer. You simply overchange her/ him by however much your balance is positive.
Thus far we’ve talked only about money. This is, of course, only a fraction of the potential
swag present in a McDonalds. Everything is up for grabs- happy toys, cheese, chocolate flakes,
lettuce, wedges, sauce portions, cleaning substances, strip lights, sticky tape, cooking
equipment, salt, pepper, sugar, pancake mix, plants, tea bags, rubbish bags, balloons, ladders,
toilet roll, fire extinguishers... You need never shop again! All your worldly needs can be met
by McDonalds (except alcohol and class A drugs which you can get by selling McDonalds
stock), they are delighted to help.
Obviously closes, and opens to a lesser extent, are the best times to make off with larger items,
but try and nick things when you might reasonably be carrying them about, so if you want to
nick hash browns, don’t do it at dinner time. Normally the best way is to be totally blatant. If
you say that you need to check the schedule and you just happen to be carrying a sleeve of
cheese at the time then normally everyone is too busy to notice whether you come back with the
cheese or whether everyone you know eats toasties that week. Bring in a spare bag and then if
you arouse suspicion you can safely show your bag with nothing but personal possessions, if
they look in the spare bag then just deny it’s yours, if they don’t then at the end of the day, when
all’s clear, stick the spare bag in your bag and get out of Dodge.
But far and away the best way to smuggle stock out is, if you work at a drive thru store, get a
mate to drive through and at the first window you quickly pass out all sorts of shit, she/ he
stashes it under a blanket and drives on to collect their regular fries with half the store in the
back of their car.
If this sort of stuff is happening on a grand scale (as it often is) they’ll start trying to keep stock
areas locked. No problem, just throw the keys in the main bin when nobody’s looking. This
will seriously fuck up the shift- soon there’s nothing to sell, they have to get hold of the manager
who has got the spare keys, they get dragged out of the house, they’ll probably want new keys
cut, it’s a fucking nightmare and they certainly wont lock the stock areas again in a hurry.
There is plenty that is of value- happy meal toys make nice presents for young relatives. We
used to know someone who swapped hash browns for hash, you can keep friends and family
supplied with tea bags, household equipment, sauces, etc. Get stuck into the black economy.
McDonalds owes us, we could be robbing them blind for years and not get back half of what
they’ve stolen from us.
We hope you enjoyed this humorous, just for entertainment article. Please remember that theft
is a criminal offence.
How to pass your day- Ten things to do in McDonalds when it's dead
Recipes! - Break time never tasted so good!
John Wayne's bumper guide to the job:Kitchen
Kitchen
Obviously in kitchen the priority is to cook what food you have to with as little effort as
possible. The golden rule in all instances is therefor, “more food less often”. Always cook in
the highest runs possible. SO, depending on your store, you should cook big macs in runs of 6
or 12, regulars in runs of 9 or 18, etc.
Kitchen should function as a team, it should be non-hierarchical and based on direct democracy.
If the person on wrap and call is being a dick then the others should vote to replace him or her.
If the person doesn’t comply then immediately everyone should go on a go slow. At busy
periods a five minute go slow can lead to production being completely lost. Our collective
strength is never more obvious than when a group of friends work together in kitchen. Here are
a few specific notes:
Wrap and Call
This position, if occupied by a penis, can fuck up everyone’s day. When you’re on wrap and
call your main objective is to make sure that everyone in kitchen has as easy a day as possible.
So, “two sandwiches please” isn’t going to make any friends is it? Also, don’t tell people what
to do, make suggestions. Don’t turn into a petty tyrant burger boy.
In order to perform your role to the best of your ability you will need to cheat with time cards-
when the food goes out of time, replace the time card, when the new card is out of time, replace
it again. Keep this going until all the food is either sold or grows legs and runs away of its own
accord. If you want this to go unnoticed then a good trick is to ask managers to throw token bits
of food out from time to time- “could you throw out the first quarter please” makes it sound like
you give a fuck and the manager doesn’t know the quarter she throws out (and all the others in
the bin) saw action in Vietnam. The food tastes like shit whether it’s fresh or has just got its bus
pass.
Grill
It’s pretty self-explanatory, you slap down meat when you can be fucked. One little thing, if
you’re using a damaged Teflon and it’s ripping all the meat but you can’t be bothered changing
it, just sprinkle salt liberally on the frozen patties before latching the grill. The meat will come
up in one piece and the customers will eventually die of heart attacks which means there will be
less of the bastards to serve.
If you have to clean a grill, then don’t worry about the top platen, just change the Teflon round
and claim you’re helping the openers. This saves a lot of time and has the added advantage that
over time it can lead to carbon build up which can warp a grill causing McDonalds considerable
expense. Bonus!
Dressing
The pickle just gets thrown on the ground anyway so don’t bother with it. There’s probably no
need to use mustard either. Also, you know how your hands end up stinking of onion, pickle,
mustard, all sorts of shit? Well especially if you’re going out later, wear plastic gloves so you
don’t smell so bad when you’re trying to pull someone.
Buns
Be creative, Mac crowns can go in the regular toaster, regular buns in the Mac toaster, use your
imagination.
Chicken
Keep your holding levels very high and cook everything in big runs.
DPSC
Everyone else just copies it from a couple of days ago..
Filtering
The equipment will almost certainly not all be present in a useable condition. So refuse to do it.
If they complain then ignore human resources and go straight to the health and safety executive
(UK- 0171 717 6000) or the equivalent organisation where you work. If you do, do the
filtering, a good trick is to get a metal jug and (very carefully!) scoop hot oil from other vats and
pour it down the sides of the vat you’re filtering clearing any debris.Front counter
Front Counter
Anyone working on front counter should read our humorous, just for entertainment piece on
stealing.
Your other main concern here is the customers. It seems that all the scum on earth eat at
McDonalds from time to time- don’t take shit, never apologise and above all else, never, ever
smile unless YOU feel like it.
You should work out with kitchen staff signals to deal with objectionable customers. For
example, “extra bacon’ as a grill order might mean the order is for a police officer. It’s then up
to kitchen to do their worst. Or, a “big Mac extra cheese, extra milk’, might mean “an abusive
customer has ordered a big Mac extra cheese, please spit in it’. Abusive customers very often
order grills because being awkward is there raison d’être.
However, you should never, ever encourage people to do horrible things to burgers randomly.
This is because lots of customers are actually really nice people. Give free food to anyone who
is pleasant or looks like they are short of cash. Be careful giving free stuff to middle aged,
middle class people because they just don’t get it and will stand there saying “I don’t think you
charged me for this”. If you make a habit of giving free stuff to regular customers who work in
local shops, pubs, etc. then you will hopefully find that visiting their workplaces soon results in
the favour being reciprocated. Workers solidarity against the bosses!
Unlike in kitchen, there is usually no point trying to do things quickly on front counter- it rarely
buys you a break but just means more punters want served. Remember- if the queue gets long
enough then people are less inclined to wait which ultimately means less people to serve. Try to
leave your till whenever possible, go to the toilet, wash your hands excessively, claim your
trousers are falling down, anything to break the tedium. Try talking to customers (!?), instead of
“can I take your order here please?”, try “all right there, just finished work?”
“er... yeah”
“Looks like it’s been a rough day...etc.” Just serving food robotically is dehumanising for you
and the customers.
Oh, and never use the ice scoop!Backroom, cleaning, trashwalks
Backroom, lobby, trash walks, etc.
Remember: never wear decent shoes to work as they will just rot with all the grease and skank
that floods about the floor.
Backroom
If you have to move heavy stuff and you don’t have a trolley then improvise with bun wheels
and a bun crate (for bringing out boxes of fries, for example). Don’t put yourself out for
McDonalds.
Delivery
As long as it’s not you regular job then you wont need to rotate stock properly. Just put a few
older boxes on top to make things look right. By the time anyone notices it’s all fucked nobody
will remember who did the last delivery. Nick a few boxes of stuff and claim the were never
delivered (just joking, that might be illegal!). When you’ve chucked everything away slap a bit
of “do not use’ tape about randomly to make it look like you’ve tried. Drag the whole thing out
as long as possible. If anyone does notice how badly you’ve done it then hopefully they wont
ask you again.
Pulling stations
Think what can be seen when the station’s back in place (sometimes just the floor) and clean it.
Do the floor with a litre of APC (or local equivalent) and a damp mop. Some people like to
pour salt on grease spills, I’ve never thought this was very useful but I suppose it wastes lots of
salt. When you’re “finished’ quickly push the station back into place really fucking tightly so
that no one will pull it out and see that you’ve actually done fuck all.
Cleaning
If you have to clean a greasy surface, don’t try and clean it properly with soapy water, just wipe
it with a DRY grill cloth.
If you get sent to lobby to clean walls or something similar then make a big show of filling up a
bucket of clean water then take a couple of cloths and a newspaper round to the wall. Splash the
clean water about a bit then look for a plant (almost every McDonalds will have real or fake
plants somewhere). Scoop some of the earth out of the plant pot and mix it well with your
water. Sit back with your newspaper. After a while take your bucket and clothe back and make
a big show of having to change this very dirty water- “fucking hell, when were those walls last
cleaned?”. The manager will feel like a good burger slave and will ask if they’re scrubbing up
all right, “yeah but it’s a lot of work” and with that you go back to your paper. Keep this going
until you’ve at least read the sport, the cartoons and have had a go at the crossword. This really
works!
Dining Area
Skive, read the paper, talk to random members of the public, it’s boring as fuck out here but it
should be a bit of skive. If you get really bored then go to the shift runner with a really
disruptive request from an imaginary customer- someone wants to check a rule from a now
closed promotion or something. After the manager’s pissed about for a while, found the
relevant file, searched and been unable to resolve the enquiry, looked up the number where the
customer should direct enquiries, noted it down and took it out to the customer, you go “fuck-
they were sitting right there, they’ve just left, that was so rude, etc.”
Trash Walks
Trash walks are great- empty one external bin and leave that bag somewhere you can find it,
then compress the rubbish down in all the other bins and go to the pub, do your shopping,
whatever. Come back and carry the bag you left earlier around to the front of the store and in
full view of management chuck a few things in the bag. A manager (who had probably
forgotten you were out there) will come to ask why you’ve taken so long. Look frustrated and
ask when the last trash walk was done. “Just an hour ago”
“Fucking hell, messy bastards today, this is the second bag I’ve filled,. I mean it’s still not great
but you should have seen the mess before, etc.”. If anyone was out looking for you while you
were in the pub, just claim you were along the street picking up litter in line with McDonalds
community friendly policies.
Got a scam you want to share with your colleagues? Let us know
And remember kids...
"Our competitors can try to copy many of our secrets, but they cannot duplicate our pride, our enthusiasm
and our dedication for this business. There is no single factor more important than the dedication and effort
of McDonald's employees. The McDonald's spirit is exclusively ours and yours."
Andrew Taylor, President and CEO of McDonalds UK
More from McDonalds Workers Resistance
McSues magazine online - the pisstake mag from Glasgow MWR
Get Involved Don't leave it to someone else, it's easy, it's fun, and you just might inherit the earth
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